It's Official: I HATE MUSHROOMS

Okay, today we had the Sunday brunch at Five Crowns in Corona del Mar--I love it there, 'cause Lyn and I look like kindergartners next to most of the clientele.  And because they have good food.

So I assumed.

Today, I thought I'd be a little daring.  (Kristi's always encouraging everyone in the family to try new things, so I thought why not.  This is Five Crowns.  Renowned chef. Good stuff.  Right?) I already knew I wanted the Chicken Chutney.  I've had it before. LOVE the fruity chutney sauce. And it's one of the cheaper items on the menu.  Since I nearly always get the garden salad, I considered going for a soup to be different.  They used to have a lime tortilla soup I loved, but replaced it with a "mushroom bisque."  SURELY, if they replaced a delicious lime tortilla soup with it, it had to be pretty good.  Correct?

I've always been kinda leery about mushrooms--mainly because they're just so blah tasting.  So I asked our waitress (a lovely young woman who frankly looked WAY out of place at the more "mature" FC) for her opinion about the bisque in question.  Well, her already beautiful face took on shades of Best Christmas morning and 16th birthday as she moaned and said, "Oh, that's delicious.  And so hearty!"

Sold me.  I couldn't wait to get me some hearty and delicious mushroom bisque.  I wanted that Best Christmas/16th birthday feeling.

It came in this cute little porcelain pot thingy with a lid on it. (Porcelain pot.  THAT should have been a clue.)  I opened it up and it looked innocent enough.  I took a bite and didn't feel anything at all like I was experiencing a milestone holiday.  (Well, maybe Lowest Grade In 12 Years of School Day.  Or Lost My Best Friend EVER Day.)   It was like eating a spoonful of ground up bicycle tires.  Bicycle tires that knew their way around a chicken farm.  Tires that had spent YEARS around a chicken farm.

I don't blame the cook.  I don't blame the belongs-at-Dukes-or-Chart-House waitress.  I blame those nasty mushrooms.  And maybe my taste buds.  Anyway, mushrooms can just stay in the forest as far as I'm concerned.  Under tall trees.  Far away from civilization.  Far away from me.